Bad Poetry Challenge

I'm on a challenge to write a truly terrible poem, inspired by Jacke Wilson of The History of Literature Podcast. His 62nd episode titled "Bad Poetry" is well worth a listen. Below are his 10 indicators of bad poetry. Trees by Joyce Kilmer scored an 8.5 by Mr. Wilson. My goal is to beat that which shall be no easy task.

1. Pompousness or pretentiousness
2. Trying too hard
3. Technical errors
4. Victimized by rhyme
5. Unintentionally humorous
6. Devoid of ideas
7. Expresses a single idea that repeats too often
8. At least one terrible idea
9. Misguided agenda
10. Misalignment with the reader

Here are my two attempts: first and second. The second is much better, and by better I mean bad. It's a terrible poem. The first bad poem I wrote received positive feedback which is a bad sign for a poem that's supposed to be bad.