I had not vomited in so long
Someone put the hex on my true-to-selfness
Some sorcerer kept me far from my guts
The guts I feared would choke me
And make me ashamed of having no wings
And drown my own heart
I know how to survive a feeling
But I forgot that I knew it
A manic forgetter froze my meats
I kept asking for help when I didn't need it
My demons stared out from the ice
When they finally thawed they'd been dead all along
And now I am the walking thawed
You survive yourself if you wait long enough
And vomit your guts down your defrosted breast
And bathe in your mess and say baby it's fine
Guts are also courage. Ice/frozen is a passive or inactive state. I love "the walking thawed" phrase. The narrator gains her confidence back. The vomit gets rid of all the negative ideas and thoughts that had rotted the narrator's mindset. Embrace the mess, "baby it's fine!" What a great finish too.
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