during my worst times
on the park benches
in the jails
or living with
whores
I always had this certain
contentment-
I wouldn't call it
happiness-
it was more of an inner
balance
that settled for
whatever was occuring
and it helped in the
factories
and when relationships
went wrong
with the
girls.
it helped
through the
wars and the
hangovers
the backalley fights
the
hospitals.
to awaken in a cheap room
in a strange city and
pull up the shade-
this was the craziest kind of
contentment
and to walk across the floor
to an old dresser with a
cracked mirror-
see myself, ugly,
grinning at it all.
what matters most is
how well you
walk through the
fire.
I'm not sure if the writer is proud of his contentment or regretful of it. Is the last paragraph describing the rest of the poem or telling the reader to do the opposite?
ReplyDeleteGood point.
DeleteIt is an interesting perspective on contentment. Because most people would/could/should not be content with the life the narrator describes. I'd agree that being content is better than being angry, resentful, or unaccountable.
If you walk through the fire well enough, maybe you don't get burnt as bad. Although the better bet is not to walk trough the fire, of course.