Escape the walls; mue
The substrate left to bind/
Recreate the mind. An apple carefully chewed
And transferred
Bit by bit; a fiery red enigma
of pain. Loathe not ourselves
Or the temporal fire,
For you are I and I am, too.
Yet, who made the puzzle?
-Little Bird
http://tsavoritelittlebird.blogspot.com/2016_09_01_archive.html
Interesting poem. It is almost purposely non-sensical. The apple sentence is half figurative and half literal in an abstract sense. Apples transferred bit by bit, not bite by bite or byte by byte like an Apple device. Also do we transfer food? It seems to literally get back to changing the mind in small parts/steps/changes.
ReplyDeleteThe last question made me wonder if it was a game that included apples or fire and maybe it is from one of the pieces perspectives.
Let me check the link, I must be missing something.
Did you write this AJ?
ReplyDeleteThe oneness is cool. Did you play around with other pronouns. You have ourselves, you, I, and I. "You are I" sounds like a paradox. At first I didn't understand why it was different, but the "I" is grammatically incorrect and should be "me" the object pronoun. Using the subject pronoun I in place of the object of the sentence sounds profound. The "I am" sounds like Jesus too. I really like that line.
Who made the puzzle? This question surprises the reader. Knowing or think you wrote this ties the ideas together (a reader that didn't know you might need more info if you wanted to share this with a larger audience). I see this question/idea coming from our discussions.
I would consider changing the slash after bind. And I'm not sure if the semicolons link the clauses closely enough. But both of those are personal style. And the first rule of poetry is there are no riles. Take it for what it's worth.
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ReplyDeleteI confess!
ReplyDeleteThe symbols here are known widely:
walls- closed in, trapped, closed thinking, not seeing a door, stagnant
apple- "original sin", "temptation", Snow White, Adam and Eve, "an apple a day"
fiery red enigma of pain- human pain, created by ourselves, does pain even exist? Is pain something that is done to us or for us or by us?, given or created, "enigma"- maybe it doesn't exist at all...
temporal fire- the foundational questions that we all have- why are we here? do we have a soul? what is consciousness?, "the world was on fire when we lay down on it"
"who made the puzzle"- the more science studies, the more perfect this world is...there is, indeed, a puzzle...again- creation/evolution....yet the puzzle remains.
It's even better coming back to it again. Your imagery is strong.
ReplyDeleteIs it funny that apples make me think of computers and not original sin. Is technology the new original sin?